Greeting from the Blotters Blog Horrorscope.
May you have a week of affluence that is copiously full of opulence!
Please remember that this is all in good fun.
Pisces
February 20 - March 20
Oh what terrible luck! For Pisces your day is going to be less then fetch.
Todays light will be one that is Mysterious as the women in the shadows.
Your night will be Good like the warmth of the first sip of your favorite hot drink.
Yesterdays moon was one that was Bountiful like a perfect charcuterie board.
No more waiting with baited breath as Your lucky numbers are said to be 34, 57, 53, 76, 82, 42, 33
A quote for your week.
“An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
Aries
March 21 - April 20
Forsooth Aries!
Woe to thoughts that cross your path as your day will be one that the stars have bequeathed unto you!
Todays light will be one that is Wanting so much you could hear it screaming.
Your night will be well fed and jolly.
Yesterdays moon was one that was Full.
Your lucky numbers are said to be . Better luck next time! 7, 34, 45, 68, 59, 18, 15
A quote for your week.
“The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love. I require so much!”
― Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility
Taurus
April 21 - May 21
Oh dear, Taurus. Looks like your day is going to be willfully ignorant?
Well, things can't get possibly worse, right?
Todays light will be one that is Missing and listed on local milk boxes.
Your night will be Hell because you know you did the thing
but you still will question yourself for the rest of the day.
Yesterdays moon was one that was Partial because it's being eaten by mice.
May these numbers find you lucky. 74, 77, 22, 53, 81, 28, 62
A quote for your week.
“I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding— certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of other so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
Gemini
May 22 - June 21
By the stars and their light! Gemini your day is going to be one of peace and relaxation.
Todays light will be one that is Good in a nice comforting way.
Your night will be ravenous & lustful.
Yesterdays moon was one that was grave.
Be not afraid! For your lucky numbers are as follows! 76, 6, 53, 91, 20, 70, 59
A quote for your week.
“She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me, and I am in no humor at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
Cancer
June 22 - July 22
The goddess has granted Cancer a day of the sort that is like a good like the warmth of the first sip of your favorite hot drink! We would go on but she has requested the rest to be kept a secret.
Todays light will be one that is Flickering like a rave.
Your night will be Hot.
Yesterdays moon was one that was well fed and jolly.
Here, have these 80, 77, 90, 87, 94, 65, 56 as they have been bequeathed unto you.
A quote for your week.
“When I say that life is like an onion, I mean this: if you don't do anything with it, it goes rotten. So far, that's no different from other vegetables. But when an onion goes bad, it can either do it from the inside, or the outside. So sometimes you see one that looks good, but the core is rotten. Other times, you can see a bad spot on it, but if you cut that out, the rest is fine. Tastes sharp, but that's what you paid for, isn't it?”
― Steven Brust, Yendi
Leo
July 23 - August 22
Oh dear, Leo.
Looks like your day is going to be full of the hokey-pokey?
Such a shame.
Todays light will be one that is Twinkling gently between the branches.
Your night will be Bountiful like yonder waifus bosom as it bounces boobily while she runs.
Yesterdays moon was one that was happenstance.
The Sun and the Moon have whispered to thee, your lucky numbers are said to be 52, 74, 1, 45, 15, 69, 73
A quote for your week.
“The proof that these words marked the event… is the very fact that no other words have ever been recorded; and it is well known that ‘historians’ of the popular school dearly love to mark great events by the words which accompanied them. What reason would they have for ignoring words to mark the occasion except that these words fail, in their judgment, to convey the proper sense of the occasion?”
― Steven Brust, The Lord of Castle Black
Virgo
August 23 - September 23
Congratulations Virgo!
Your day is like it is going to be a day when The Swamp Hag has cursed you? Such a shame.
Todays light will be one that is Spooky like the cutest little kitten.
Your night will be rainy with a chance of super tasty food.
Yesterdays moon was one that was out of it's normal milk and was sad about it.
Be alert! Your lucky numbers are said to be 19, 34, 25, 37, 96, 47, 14
A quote for your week.
"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
Libera
September 24- October 23
The goddess has granted Libera a day of Hell because you know you did the thing but you still will question yourself for the rest of the day! Hope and misery will be at war once more.
Todays light will be one that is Hell with the want of things you will never be able to forgive.
Your night will be willfully ignorant.
Yesterdays moon was one that was Blinking like a it has a faulty connection.
Numbers of fortune! Numbers of Woe! Listen here before you go! 67, 32, 87, 2, 68, 23, 93
A quote for your week.
“When you don’t have the skill you need, you hire someone who does; and when you can’t do that, you find a way to fake it. Some days I think that explains most of my career.”
― Steven Brust, Hawk
Ophiuchus
November 29 - December 18
By the stars and their light! Ophiuchus your rainy with a chance of three gnomes in a trench coat is going to be filled with danger!
Todays light will be one that is Famished like a starved dog.
Your night will be Hell as everything burns to the ground around you.
Yesterdays moon was one that was Shiny.
Whispers from the shadows are saying that your lucky number are said to be today! 10, 9, 33, 32, 3, 45, 21
A quote for your week.
“There will be little rubs and disappointments everywhere, and we are all apt to expect too much; but then, if one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere.”
― Jane Austen, Mansfield Park
Scorpio
October 24 - November 22
Such a well fed and jolly day Scorpio is going to have! May the goddess continue to smile on you.
Todays light will be one that is Spooky like the darkened cave under the waterfalls.
Your night will be Hell.
Yesterdays moon was one that was Blinking at you.
Little lucky numbers that are said to be 60, 15, 74, 10, 33, 4, 68
A quote for your week.
“Most people seem to take pleasure in feeling superior to someone. I'm not like that, which pleases me because it makes me feel superior.”
― Steven Brust, Jhegaala
Sagittarius
November 23 - December 21
You are going to have a bountiful as the feast of the ancient on their day of naming type of day!
Oh dear Sagittarius! And it looks like your coupons are expired as well.
Todays light will be one that is Full of the fury of the ages.
Your night will be out of it's normal milk and was sad about it.
Yesterdays moon was one that was Wistful for a time when it can relax.
The winds of luck have shined upon you! Your lucky numbers are said to be 15, 61, 11, 96, 47, 37, 57
A quote for your week.
"I have been guilty of several monographs. They are all upon technical subjects. Here, for example, is one 'Upon the Distinction between the Ashes of the Various Tobaccos'. In it I enumerate a hundred and forty forms of cigar, cigarette, and pipe tobacco, with coloured plates illustrating the difference in the ash."
- The Sign of the Four a Sherlock Holmes novel
Capricorn
December 22 - January 20
The goddess has granted Capricorn a day of rainy with a chance of super tasty food!
Do as you wish with this news.
Todays light will be one that is Terribly full of stress.
Your night will be swampy and missing frogs.
Yesterdays moon was one that was Empty and vacant like the eyes of a retail worker during the winter holidays.
What is this? But numbers of luck! They are said to be 69, 58, 89, 38, 68, 2, 46
A quote for your week.
“Categories, if you’ll excuse a brief digression, are a useful way to get a handle on things you don’t understand, as long as you don’t get too attached to them and forget that things like to pop out of one category and into another, and that sometimes the whole category turns itself inside out and becomes something different. It’s useful, for example, to categorize your target as a sorcerer, if he is one; but if you get too attached to your category it’ll leave you embarrassed when he suddenly pulls a knife on you.”
― Steven Brust, The Book of Dragon: Dragon and Issola
Aquarius
January 21 - February 19
Our sincere condolences Aquarius!
Your day is going to be one hell of a day that is rainy with a chance of fun!
Todays light will be one that is Relaxing like a good shower.
Your night will be rainy with a chance of horses.
Yesterdays moon was one that was Waxed like a fresh bikini line.
By the moons and by the seas! Your lucky numbers here they be! 44, 99, 19, 72, 73, 96, 87
A quote for your week.
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of someone or other of their daughters.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
